He floated in darkness.
At least he assumed he floated in darkness. He could not be sure. There was nothing he could be sure of.
He often theorized how he came to be how he was. That was difficult, because deprivation of any sort of sense meant that all he had previous memories and even they were, they were blurred. He was not even sure how to start where to end.
Time. That was an issue he could not resolve. He knew there was a concept of time, something to do with the Second Law of Thermodynamics and the increasing entropy. And he often reasoned that there must be time and it must be passing. But there wasn't a way in which he could measure its passing. He had tried going through a list of determiners he knew. He had assumed that the average time he took to go through them would become constant over time and then he would have a rudimentary measure of time. So he went thisthatthesethose ... thisthatthesethose ... thisthatthesethose (strictly speaking they were demonstrative determiners) but he realized that he could not keep a constant background thought and still go on with his contemplation. So that had failed.
Often he thought why did he feel a need to actually act out the concepts he knew in his mind. take his idea of time. He knew that there was a concept of time and it was 'in a manner of speaking' linear i.e there was past, present and future and that the present was now (he also realized that this logic was circular) and that past was what had happened and future was what was going to happen. But why did he feel the need to measure time, to verify the existence of the concept. It has something to do with past, with his memories, his blurred memories.
There were a few things he was sure of. That he existed (this was because he thought and therefore he existed) and that there was darkness all around him. Even now he knew he was on shaky ground. Existence was a metaphysical question and he had feeling that he was dealing with something that was irrespective of his conditions now or what he had been when he had acquired those blurred memories (he knew that things had been clearer then). But what was "darkness" and while he existed did he have a form? Did he exist as localization of matter or was he an extension of space or somewhere in between or the most perplexing of all nowhere? Could he be a figment of his own imagination? At that point he often quit thinking. The conclusions did not make sense but they did not make sense as much as many other concepts that he had in his mind.
But somehow that is what he called it - "Darkness", the absence of stimuli. That absence of the process of generation of direct memories. Strictly speaking he had memories, memories of going through memories and trying to make logical conclusions about them but he had no direct memories of new blurred experiences.
Of course he went on existing and reasoning out circular logic and living in a manner of speaking.
An earlier version of Darkness, in my constant pursuit to describe it properly.
At least he assumed he floated in darkness. He could not be sure. There was nothing he could be sure of.
He often theorized how he came to be how he was. That was difficult, because deprivation of any sort of sense meant that all he had previous memories and even they were, they were blurred. He was not even sure how to start where to end.
Time. That was an issue he could not resolve. He knew there was a concept of time, something to do with the Second Law of Thermodynamics and the increasing entropy. And he often reasoned that there must be time and it must be passing. But there wasn't a way in which he could measure its passing. He had tried going through a list of determiners he knew. He had assumed that the average time he took to go through them would become constant over time and then he would have a rudimentary measure of time. So he went thisthatthesethose ... thisthatthesethose ... thisthatthesethose (strictly speaking they were demonstrative determiners) but he realized that he could not keep a constant background thought and still go on with his contemplation. So that had failed.
Often he thought why did he feel a need to actually act out the concepts he knew in his mind. take his idea of time. He knew that there was a concept of time and it was 'in a manner of speaking' linear i.e there was past, present and future and that the present was now (he also realized that this logic was circular) and that past was what had happened and future was what was going to happen. But why did he feel the need to measure time, to verify the existence of the concept. It has something to do with past, with his memories, his blurred memories.
There were a few things he was sure of. That he existed (this was because he thought and therefore he existed) and that there was darkness all around him. Even now he knew he was on shaky ground. Existence was a metaphysical question and he had feeling that he was dealing with something that was irrespective of his conditions now or what he had been when he had acquired those blurred memories (he knew that things had been clearer then). But what was "darkness" and while he existed did he have a form? Did he exist as localization of matter or was he an extension of space or somewhere in between or the most perplexing of all nowhere? Could he be a figment of his own imagination? At that point he often quit thinking. The conclusions did not make sense but they did not make sense as much as many other concepts that he had in his mind.
But somehow that is what he called it - "Darkness", the absence of stimuli. That absence of the process of generation of direct memories. Strictly speaking he had memories, memories of going through memories and trying to make logical conclusions about them but he had no direct memories of new blurred experiences.
Of course he went on existing and reasoning out circular logic and living in a manner of speaking.
An earlier version of Darkness, in my constant pursuit to describe it properly.
