Its a numbing feeling.
Something seems to be missing from your body. Maybe your lower jaw. You move it, its there. But when you stop moving it, the numb sensation takes hold of you again. It is, as if the feeling temporarily receded when you acted but then it came back, flooding in, taking hold of your face, your lower jaw to be precise.
The sensation is that of disorientation, of a feeling of dislocation as if your own self is displaced from the body. Its not completely within the body but its there near the body looking out at the outside world from a vision displaced from the actual position of your eyes.
But you are aware of the other parts of your body. Your stomach (rumbling with suggested hunger), your heavy legs and your cold feet. The self and the body are together below but its only in your head that they are displaced from each other.
But the head is the seat of your consciousness, so this disorientation extends itself to everything you do. You look yourself at the mirror and you see a stranger blink back at you. Then you can't look at the mirror any more. You stare at the screen as your hands move automatically over the keys of the keyboard and you feel as if somebody else is typing it in. You are just a mute spectator to a body that has its own intelligence and drives towards its own goal.
But the uncertainty resides in your head, at the center of the brain between your eyes. This is because you feel that inner most part of you (your soul?) moving and acting. Are you the body, the brain or the soul? Or are you tripartite split occluded by perception.
You feel no realizations, no light at the end of the tunnel, no bash of drums, clang of cymbals and divine revelations. There is only that numbing feeling.
Something seems to be missing from your body. Maybe your lower jaw. You move it, its there. But when you stop moving it, the numb sensation takes hold of you again. It is, as if the feeling temporarily receded when you acted but then it came back, flooding in, taking hold of your face, your lower jaw to be precise.
The sensation is that of disorientation, of a feeling of dislocation as if your own self is displaced from the body. Its not completely within the body but its there near the body looking out at the outside world from a vision displaced from the actual position of your eyes.
But you are aware of the other parts of your body. Your stomach (rumbling with suggested hunger), your heavy legs and your cold feet. The self and the body are together below but its only in your head that they are displaced from each other.
But the head is the seat of your consciousness, so this disorientation extends itself to everything you do. You look yourself at the mirror and you see a stranger blink back at you. Then you can't look at the mirror any more. You stare at the screen as your hands move automatically over the keys of the keyboard and you feel as if somebody else is typing it in. You are just a mute spectator to a body that has its own intelligence and drives towards its own goal.
But the uncertainty resides in your head, at the center of the brain between your eyes. This is because you feel that inner most part of you (your soul?) moving and acting. Are you the body, the brain or the soul? Or are you tripartite split occluded by perception.
You feel no realizations, no light at the end of the tunnel, no bash of drums, clang of cymbals and divine revelations. There is only that numbing feeling.
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