Muddles

Last night I dreamed
A dreary, confused, bright dream

They say that dreams
Are a confused recollection of the day
Or of memories of past stirred
By words, thoughts and flavors of a time gone by

Perhaps they don't say it at all
Perhaps that is what I think

But my dream was a confusion
A rush to go somewhere - a destination
Where I forget, perhaps it did not matter
An unease of leaving the place where I start
Perhaps that "where" too did not matter

I stood with six friends
Six separate friends, friends who never
Knew each other

I do not even remember who they were
Only that there were six, six of us
And all of us were headed
To the same destination
Yet all of us were headed in different ways
Where, again I do not know
Perhaps it does not matter

I was unsure though
I was unsure of my journey
I was unsure of how I was headed
The where did not matter
I asked each of them
"How are you going to go?"
Each smiled and told me
Why they could not take me with them
Each time I smiled back understandingly
With that slight (ever so slight) resentment
Of me not being included
But each time I smiled
That understanding smile that we give
All day to each other sowing little seeds
Of resentment

And then
I walked away
Or did they all walk away first ?
Purposefully on their ways
And I remained standing

But finally I walked away
I walked through crowd of faceless people
Towards some path, something
That would take me to my destination
Where, it did not matter

And here is the part I remember the most
I passed by them, those two, on my way
They never turned, they never noticed
But I passed by them - I saw their faces
She looked good - thinner, more graceful, restrained
He was smiling, more mature, restrained
I did not hear what they were saying
But I could see that they were not in love any more
They were talking like friends who crossed
A boundary and then walked back
And now they are unsure of each other
And are civil to each other
"Civil" how painful that word is
To use for lovers

I hope it was just a dream
I hope they are still together